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Name: dyeni
Home: Paranaque, Metro Manila, Philippines
About Me: the contents of this blog pretty much sums up who i am...blog on folks!
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| Funny/Weird primetime TV lines (props to the writers !) |
| Friday, December 16, 2005 |
ONE TREE HILL FUNNIES
FIRST DAY ON A BRAND NEW PLANET (Season 3 Ep 3)
Scene: Lucas (Chad Murray) and Haley (Bethany Lenz) rereading their traditional first day of school year predictions.
Lucas (mistakenly reading Haley's past predictions): "This year, I'm going to kiss a boy."
= = = = = = = = = =
AN ATTEMPT TO TIP THE SCALES (Season 3 Ep 4)
Scene: Haley and Lucas talking about the kiss Haley thought was from her estranged husband and Lucas' half-brother, Nathan (James Lafferty)
Haley (dreamily describing the kiss): "It was like a totally out of body experience for me!"
Lucas (with a bit of a girlie twirl): "Then maybe I should get Nathan to kiss me."
= = = = = = = = = =
A MULTITUDE OF CASUALTIES (Season 3 Ep 5)
Scene: Half-brothers Lucas & Nathan comes out from the Tree Hill Ravens' locker room during a peprally locked in a death grip for the entire Tree Hill to see. Whitey approaches the boys' amused father, Dan
Scott (Paul Johansson) in a fit.
Whitey: "Damn your sperm Danny!"
= = = = = = = = = =
A MULTITUDE OF CASUALTIES (Season 3 Ep 5)
Scene: Half-brothers Lucas & Nathan provoking one another in the Tree Hill Ravens' locker room before their public brawl during the pep rally.
Nathan to Lucas (two really tall & good-looking manly men): "Don't push me bitch!"
= = = = = = = = = =
LOCKED HEARTS AND HAND GRENADES (Season 3 Ep 6)
Scene: During pre-basketball practise warm-up exercises, Whitey notices Lucas' sluggish and slow movement.
Whitey mocking Lucas: "Lucas Scott! Why don't you hop on your brothers' back and let him carry you!"
= = = = = = = = = =
CHAMPAGNE FOR MY REAL FRIENDS, REAL PAIN FOR MY SHAM FRIENDS (Season 3 Ep 7)
Scene: Tree Hill just had a fantasy boy draft to avoid having the cheerleaders fight over the boys in the high-school (sigh...only on TV can they pull-off such insanity). One of the players was following Brooke (Sophia Bush) around and asking who picked or drafted him.
Brooke screaming at Tim: "You didn't even get drafted you little...Tim!"
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
GILMORE GIRLS FUNNIES
FIGHT FACE (Season 6 Ep 2)
Scene: Pet Fair, Ms. Patty sees Lorelei (Lauren Graham) cooing at Lorelei's future pet Paul Anka and quickly goes over to her to stop her from buying something due to Lorelei's infamous high pet mortality rate stats.
Ms. Patty: "You must have her name on some blacklist back there, don't you?"
Pet Fair Attendant(looking confused): "We don't have a blacklist."
Ms. Patty: "But this is Lorelai Gilmore!"
Lorelei: "Ignore her. This dog loves me! And the pig! The pig loved me!"
Ms. Patty (looks back at the pig): "It looks dead."
= = = = = = = = = =
FIGHT FACE (Season 6 Ep 2)
Scene: Lorelei & brand new fiancee, Luke (Scott Patterson) discussing about if it was alright with Lorelei to get a pet. Lorelei was frustratingly defending her high pet mortality rate record.
Lorelei about her hamsters' death: "That hamster was defective! Period."
= = = = = = = = = =
FIGHT FACE (Season 6 Ep 2)
Scene: Lorelei stubbornly went ahead and bought the dog she was cooing at in the petfair against the wishes of the entire Stars Hollow. She was now telling Luke about what she was going to name the dog.
Lorelei: "For the first week I'll call him Coco to get him acclamated."
Luke: "Acclamated?!"
Lorelei ignoring Luke's frustration: "Second week I'm gonna call him Cokie. Third week, Cookie. Fourth week, Tookie."
Luke: "So, you're gonna name him Tookie?"
Lorelei: "No, I'm gonna name him Paul Anka."
= = = = = = = = = =
TWENTY-ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER (Season 6 Ep 7)
Scene: Luke & Lorelei arrive at Rory (Alexis Bledel's) 21st bday party at Lorelei's parents house. They ran into Lorelei's mom, Emily (Kelly Bishop), and were forced to make awkward, horrifying (for Luke) small-talk about the alcoholic beverage called "the Rory," which was especially concocted for Rory.
Emily: "What's the matter Luke? You don't like your "Rory?""
Luke: "Oh no. It's great...a little pink. You know."
Emily: "Well, Rory's a girl. Girls like pink."
Luke (getting a little uncomfortable): "I know. I was just saying..."
Emily: "No one's asking you to wear it. It's not a skirt."
Luke (now looking extremely uncomfortable already): " I know. I just..."
Lorelei (hissing at Luke): "Drink the drink!"
= = = = = = = = = =
TWENTY-ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER (Season 6 Ep 7)
Scene: Luke gulps down the pink drink called "the Rory" just to shut Emily up. He then looks disgustingly at the drink after Emily finally left them alone to mingle with other party guests.
Luke (ranting to Lorelei about the drink): "It tastes pink! I mean like really tasted really pink! Aauuggh! God, that's terrible! It's like drinking a My Little Pony!"
= = = = = = = = = =
BUT NOT AS CUTE AS PUSHKIN (Season 5 Ep 10)
Scene: Rory was pissed at future boyfriend Logan (Matt Czuchry) since he and his frat buddies made a scene in one of her Yale classes at her expense.
Logan: "That's not a good look."
Rory: "I have no words..."
Logan: "It was just a joke!"
Rory: "Oh, no, wait. I thought of some. Jerk! Ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat-boy, low-life, butt-faced miscreant!"
Logan (looking at Rory, clearly amused at her fit): "Butt-faced miscreant!"
Rory: "Why would you do something like that?!"
Logan (now looking confused when he realized what Rory just called him): "I'm sorry, butt-faced miscreant?"
CSI FUNNIES
(Yes. They're not just crime scene investigators. They could very well throw in a clever quip or two to lighten the already gruesome mood of investigating death.)
BODIES IN MOTION (Season 6 Ep 1)
Scene: Greg Sanders (Eric Szmanda) & Sara Sidle (Jorja Fox) were at the Crime Labs' "Garage." Greg had his hand inside the trunk of a crime scene vehicle, fishing around liters of human decomp soup for a drain of some sort. He finally finds the drain but pulls a little too hard causing a big gob of human soup to fly towards his face, more specifically, his mouth.
Sara (handing Greg a towel while trying really hard not to laugh): "Technically, that makes you a cannibal. Grissom would be proud."
Greg (looking at Sara in annoyance and trying really hard not to throw up): "Grissom would've tasted it on purpose!"
= = = = = = = = = =
A BULLET RUNS THROUGH IT (Season 6 Ep 7)
Scene: Real-life buddies Nick Stokes (George Eads) and Warrick Brown (Gary Dourdan) were in the Ballistics area of the lab, analyzing firearm used at the controversial crime scene (you'll see when it comes out, if it ever comes out). Warrick sees an unusual occurence of a bullet hitting another guns' cylinder.
Warrick (calling out to Nick, who was happily scrutinizing a crime scene rifle):
"Hey Moustache Boy! Come over and check this out!"
Note: This, by the way, was the first and only time in the entire episode that Nick's new moustachy-look was acknowledged. And I thought I was just seeing things. Eads! Shave it off! For the love of God! SHAVE IT OFF!
SCRUBS
(I'm not putting FUNNIES anymore coz the show is supposed to be funny anyway. The scene I'm placing here is just the most historically funniest Zach Braff hissy-fit ever.)
(Season 4 Ep 2)
Scene: JD (Zach Braff) & Elliot (Sarah Chalke) go to Doctor Cox (John McGinley) to find out who between them would be picked as the new Chief Resident. Dr. Cox then announces that he picked Elliot or rather "Barbie" to be the new Chief Resident.
Dr. Cox (seeing the pained look on JD's face): "Newbie, how you doing?"
JD (trying to smile and stay calm):
Keep it together. It's be-a-man time. (line said inside JD's brain)
"No! No. I totally understand. Come on. You did what you had to do. You went with your gut. Elliot's a great doctor. I do have 3 questions though...
Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love?!
Who's gonna tell my mom?!
And what the hell am I supposed to do with 10,000 John Dorian Chief Resident business cards?!!"
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Just wanted to share them. It would be much better when you witness them for yourselves of course. Oh well, something to look forward to I guess.
Hey! If I can't be a scriptwriter, might as well admire and appreciate the beauty and cleverness of it all. Keep 'em lines coming! It's the very reason you're now on your Nth seasons.
screencaps courtesy of CSICAPS and WB56:Boston
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posted by dyeni @ 4:11 PM   |
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